


Lavender

by Niektete (therealfroggy)



Category: Jeeves & Wooster
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-26
Updated: 2012-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-22 10:56:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/609066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therealfroggy/pseuds/Niektete
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Conversation only-fic. Jeeves does not approve of Bertie's newest sartorial acquisition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lavender

“Jeeves, look!”

“Sir?”

“Look at this tie, Jeeves! Isn't it absolutely spiffing?”

“... It is a very uplifting colour, sir.”

“It is, isn't it? And see here, Jeeves, I found spats, handkerchief and hatband to match!”

“Do you mean to say, sir, that you intend to appear in public dressed completely in lavender?”

“What? Golly, no, Jeeves! Not at all; just the spats, tie, handkerchief and hatband. It would look absolutely topping with my charcoal suit, don't you think, Jeeves?”

“Sir, I must object. It would not be appropriate for a gentleman of your standing.”

“But, Jeeves, lavender is such a lovely colour!”

“Yes, sir.”

“And you've put me in charcoal and light blue before, and that was very appropriate!”

“It was, sir.”

“Then why won't you let me wear the same suit with lavender, dash it?”

“Surely, sir, you must be aware of the implications of this particular colour?”

“Impli- what's that, Jeeves?”

“Sir, lavender has a symbolic meaning that is frowned upon in good society.”

“Oh? How interesting! What meaning is that, Jeeves?”

“It indicates that the wearer is an invert, sir.”

“What! Jeeves, are you quite certain?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Golly! I hadn't an inkling. I suppose I'd better warn the chaps down at the Drones, what?”

“Sir?”

“You know, lavender is all the rage there now. Why, Barmy swore he owned a lavender shirt, even, but I think he just washed it with his red scarf. The man's utterly... what's the word I want, Jeeves?”

“Mentally negligible, sir?”

“Exactly. Barmy's, well, absolutely barmy. But all the other chaps have started buying lavender scarves and hats and everything.”

“Though the colour is undoubtedly a pleasing one, sir, I could not advise wearing it in public. Perhaps a lavender set of pyjamas would be more prudent, sir?”

“Perhaps, Jeeves, perhaps. So people will think I'm an invert, will they, if I wear these spats?”

“The more observant members of the public will undoubtedly form such an opinion, sir, yes.”

“But Jeeves, I _am_ an invert.”

“I am aware of the fortunate truth, sir.”

“Perhaps we ought to purchase matching sets of lavender pyjamas, then, Jeeves?”

“They would look very pleasing against our cream sheets, sir.”

“Well, pyjamas it is, then. ... Not even my new handkerchiefs, Jeeves?”

“Perhaps just at home, sir. In bed.”

“Oh! Well, yes, I suppose they will serve the young master best there, what?”

“Indeed, sir. Allow me to demonstrate...”


End file.
